I Hate Christmas Parties

Ok, I really don't hate them but I had to say that because it's a title of a Relient k Christmas song. We all know how much I love Relient k :)

Christmas really is an opportunity for awkward social situations. I've had a few already and I haven't even gone to any family functions yet. Honestly, I'm not normally a very awkward person...it takes quite a lot to make me feel uncomfortable. However, when it happens it's bad. I feel overwhelmed and stupid and like I want my mom.

The last awkward/awful situation I had was one of the best learning experiences of my life. I just embraced it. I asked God, "Why am I reacting like this?" And the answer was, "Because You don't trust me."

I realized most situations are only awkward because I'm not seeking God for wisdom. If I ask Him for it I know He'll give it to me. He promised :)

Sorry this post is so vague...I just had to get this off my chest.

Take Me Home

But keep me feeling lonely.

I've always loved that line. Coming home is always a bittersweet experience. My family really is amazing and I enjoy just being with them. But there's always this strange feeling of lonliness that sets in after a few weeks. It's like I'm not satisfied.

Then the truth hits me. I'm not drawing near to Jesus. He satisfies me. He quenches my thirst for attention and admiration. He encompasses all my desires and my ambitions. In Him I am complete and thriving.

So, I come to You, Jesus. I take Your hand and step away from my pity party. You are near and that's enough. Actually, it's more than enough.

America the Beautiful

The roadtrip of a lifetime is officially over now and my spirit is sighing. I am so happy that God gave me the opportunity to minister with emergeJustice and travel my country. So here's a recap of where we went and some memories attatched to each place:

Illinois: RC Cola and ketchup covered ham

Indiana: Monroe city girls, walking at midnight on the highway we didn't know was a highway, our first real setup that took 5 hours, and the most amazing cornfields ever

Ohio: Shane and Tara Jette, haunted woods, Impact World Tour, 3 churches in one morning, and the ghost lady at the ancient bed and breakfast.

Pennsylvania: The Hamm family, almost beating Nick and Josh at basketball, Lancaster, divine appointment at Fifth Quarter and the sweet man who helped get our van started so we could go, Lebanon base and all that entails. Philadelphia :)

New York: Best venue ever...most excited crowd. Smithtown-the youth group that was so hungry for God and the Christian school that surprised me. NYC: crazy adventure seeing Shiloh and avoiding creepy men. Missing the subway and crying over cinnamon rolls and ice cream :)

Maryland/Delaware/DC: Meeting Carlyn's friends, amazing service at Pastor Matt's church, seeing Yak, and having my first hot dog from a vendor.

Virginia: Richmond, election, Katie's sprained ankle, 2 year old Jordan pooping on me, coffee at Avinell's, Vinny and family, hammock and coffee.

North Carolina: Charlotte, lots of amazing YWAMer's, thrift store, and staying out in the boondocks.

Georgia: The Dirty South! Staying with Grover's family who are amazing, going to Casting Crown's church, presentation at the Christian school, Charity's surprise birthday party, seeing my wonderful friend Sara, almost burning down Grover's house with a candle and a stack of underwear, and just enjoying being with my team :)

Tennessee: Raven neck tattoo, Krystal's, Knoxville and all the wonderful people at the Father's House, saying goodbye to Grover.

Arkansas: Seeing my family, introducing my team to my grandparents, YWAM Ozarks, last late night gas station stop.

Well, there's a little taste of the last few months. I know a lot of those memories might seem random and make no sense to anyone but I treasure each one. I will never forget what God did these past few months and all of the amazing people He introduced me to.

No Day Like Today

Woke up this morning just glad to be alive. We've been in Virginia Beach for one week now and we've met tons of colorful people. Charity, Katie, and I went over to Avinell's apartment for coffee and cake yesterday morning and it was one of my favorite days of the tour so far. Avinell is just so full of life...at 91 years old! I'm 22 and some days I don't want to get out of bed. I have so much energy and opportunity to change the world but I just assume I have so much time and I can just kind of float right now. Thankfully God put me in a place to meet someone like Avinell who reminds me to seize the day...everyday.

1 Corinthians 15:58

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."

Virginia has a face...and another name.

Her name is Avinell and she's 91 years old. She's one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. We went to a house church here in Virginia Beach, VA and she came up and introduced herself to us and instantly we were friends. Bossom buddies...kindred spirits of you will. I'm blogging about her because she impacted my life so much in just a few minutes. She shared about her son who was mentally disabled. She took care of him for 57 years and he died recently. "I can't wait to see him in heaven so he can talk to me. He never was able to talk to me."

When we asked her about how she met Jesus her whole face lit up. She went to a minister many years ago to counsel her regarding her son and he asked her if she knew Jesus. She replied by saying she believed in God but wasn't sure she was going to heaven. The minister told her to go home and talk to God. When she did she said she was filled with peace and hope. Her eyes were sparkling as she was speaking. I wish I could show you. You'll just have to meet her.

Oh and by the way, I want to name my daughter Avindell.

The Beauty of Simplicity.

These two gorgeous little girls are with us on tour right now. I just love to watch them play and laugh and fight with one another. There's an innocent trust in their eyes as the look up at me while holding my hand. They know that I'll take care of them and get them where they want to go. Today I laid Isabella (the little girl on the right) down for a nap and she smiled at me as she laid down...she was ready to sleep peacefully knowing I was right there. She wasn't alone.

As I think anticipate the results of the election tonight I am fighting fear that is deep in my heart. I feel it weighing down in my stomach. I am scared to think of what our nation could become. As I look at these cute little girls I am reminded to trust God. We as His people are not alone. He cares for us and hears our prayers. I gotta keep praying! I'm not gonna stop...even if the results are not when I think should happen.

D.C. Disaster!

Just kidding. Washington D.C. is 85% amazing and 15% overwhelming. There's just so much stuff. SO many memorials that you can't memorize the names of any of them. It all kind of squishes together into a spongecake of patriotism. Ok, that was a weird metaphor.

The thing that hit me the most was reading Lincoln's Second Inaugural Address on the wall of the Lincoln Memorial. It nearly made me cry. The passion and the true ideals of freedom that were conveyed in so few words just blew me away. Here it is in case you haven't read it for a while:

"Fellow Countrymen:
At this second appearing to take the oath of the Presidential office there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement somewhat in detail of a course to be pursued seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself, and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.
On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil war. All dreaded it, all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war—seeking to dissolve the Union and divide effects by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war, but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive, and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.
One-eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was somehow the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union even by war, while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war the magnitude or the duration which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with or even before the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible and pray to the same God, and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces, but let us judge not, that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered. That of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. 'Woe unto the world because of offenses; for it must needs be that offenses come, but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh.' If we shall suppose that American slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South this terrible war as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said 'the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether'.
With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan – to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations."

I know that was a little long but I think it's worth the time to read it. As we approach Election Day I am compelled to earnestly pray for the United States. Asking God to give us a passion for true freedom...freedom from sin.

New York! New York!

I normally like wind. As long as it's not right up in my face. I hate wind in New York. It bites...even if it's just a little breeze it still bites like Jaws. Thankfully I'm inside most of the time due to our schedule. So far we've gone to 2 different youth groups and they both tie for the most excited crowds we've had so far! You can just tell those kids love Jesus and want their hearts to break for what breaks God's heart. What a privilege to get to share with them about misisons.

Tonight we were in Long Island. I have a special place in my heart for Long Island because it is the birthplace of Jim Nizza. To think that such a small island could be the beginning for such a huge personality/heart. I wish he was here to show me around.

We did a presentation for a youth group tonight and it was just amazing. The students were serious about God. You could just tell by the atmosphere. They listened and responded. I love student ministry! We show a video that gives a lot of very sobering statistics about social injustice around the world. Afterwards you can see the fire in their eyes. They want to change it...I believe they will. With God all things are POSSIBLE.

Coming at ya LIVE from Amish Country

Pennsylvania is a beautiful state. I knew I would like it but I didn't know I would like it this much. Since I've been here I've had at least 3 big adventures. I will tell you them one at a time:

1.) We are staying at a big empty house in a slightly posh neighborhood. The owners are out of town and graciously opened their home to us. So as soon as we got there me and one of the other girls on the team, Katie, went out to explore the neighborhood. As we were walking we ran into an older man with a cute little dog named Muffie...in Bekah fashion I began to talk his ear off and found out he was a Christian. Ok so fast forward to 8:30pm when we're getting ready to go to a youth outreach and our van wouldn't start. The battery was dead and we needed another vehicle to jumpstart it. Guess who I went and asked? Muffie's owner! He was so nice and came right over, jumpstarted the car with his flashy cables and then promptly handed us $20 for gas! What an amazing God thing!

2.) We hopped into the newly jumpstarted van and sped off for the outreach. The outreach was amazing because there were tons of kids and it was outside near a cornfield. Charity and I did our dance and the kids really liked it. Then another YWAM group from Pittsburg did a drama and a few of the kids raised their hands for salvation. That was awesome. So right as the drama is ending I look over at this girl's feet and realize we have the same sweet and sassy shoes. I go to talk to her after the salvation message and find out she wants to be a missionary! Oh I talked to her alright...and then danced like crazy while this high school band was playing Copeland covers. It was one of those IknowI'msupposedtobehererighthererightnow moments.

3.) Amish. Need I say more?

Next up....New York City. Be excited. Be very excited.